Monthly Archives: September 2009

“Johnson, I’m afraid we have to let you go.” “Let me go? Where am I going?” “Out there into the land of opportunity.” “Oh, so in other words, I’m going—” “Into the parking lot. You’re fired.” “What?” “Canned, you nitwit. … Continue reading →

The captain’s yeoman, Bunny, came running into the control room of the star-ship Grope. “Captain, there’s an alien in your bed!” she said. The captain paused and put down his bottle of whiskey. “Really? Is it male or female?” Bunny … Continue reading →

The spaceship was smooth like a cigar. Are cigars smooth? Maybe not. Maybe the spaceship was smooth like a piece of porcelain. But it was smoking like a cigar. It was smoking like a cigar and about to crash. How … Continue reading →

I was soaring above the world, and I knew it wouldn’t last. The wind was a storm that tasted cold and alive. The tentacle-flames burned a smile into the air. So long.

“I’m looking for something different.” “That’s cool. You mean something really unique?” “Exactly. But of course it still needs to fit into an obvious category.” “Ah. So you want it to be original—but not too original.” “Yes! Fresh and original … Continue reading →