Monthly Archives: April 2010

The Ancient One

Posted on April 29, 2010 by happyjoe

“Hello, Ancient One. I’ve come to hear your wisdom.” “Oh, yeah? What took you so long? I’ve been sitting here for years.” “Well, I guess I was busy. So what have you got for me?” “I’ve got a secret, my … Continue reading →

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Heating Pad

Posted on April 25, 2010 by happyjoe

I was using a heating pad on my elbow. I injured my elbow fighting with a gang of bikers or maybe shoveling snow. I noticed a warning on the pad that said “DO NOT USE IN AN OXYGEN ATMOSPHERE.” Since … Continue reading →

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How I Spent My Weekend

Posted on April 19, 2010 by happyjoe

Bill and Karen came over on Saturday night. They brought a box of cannolis with them. A cannoli is a kind of pastry. Bill pulled out a .45 revolver and forced me to eat a cannoli. Well, I might be … Continue reading →

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Dear Ivan Seidenberg, CEO of Verizon

Posted on April 13, 2010 by happyjoe

Dear Ivan Seidenberg: I want you to call Verizon. Yes, I want you to call the company you run. Call them and listen to the robot lady lead you through ten voice prompts. Stay on hold for 20 minutes before … Continue reading →

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So Long, Malcom

Posted on April 9, 2010 by happyjoe

Malcolm McLaren died. It was interesting to read excerpts from British newspapers singing his praise, one even referring to him as a “maverick national treasure.” These same papers formerly despised him, and he probably would’ve found this posthumous respect to … Continue reading →

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Jimi Hendrix Underwater

Posted on April 5, 2010 by happyjoe

The iPad is finally here. Well, not for me—I’m not getting one. I’m still working up to a “smart phone.” Apparently, it’s smart to spend lots of money gaining access to thousands of “apps” that don’t do anything I actually … Continue reading →

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