Monthly Archives: June 2012

Fashion Report

Fashion designers think their clothing looks better if it’s modeled by emaciated women. These girls look like refugees from some kind of “Model Gulag.” Apparently, it’s a gulag where everyone wears the finest cosmetic products. You can have any shade … Continue reading

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Interview With A Ghost

I interviewed a nameless member of the spirit world. My questions are in black. His responses are in a ghostly shade of gray. “Hello, ghost. Would you like to tell me what you’re up to? Any upcoming TV appearances?” “Ha! … Continue reading

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Money? What Money?

If I added up all the money I’ve made playing music over the years, it wouldn’t be much. I certainly wouldn’t need a supercomputer to calculate the vast sum. But that’s okay – that’s not why I do it. Jack … Continue reading

Posted in music, philosophy | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

What Are Those Splotches On My Screen?

What will eventually replace the internet? Maybe nothing. Maybe it will always be here, just like the telegraph. Wait – I meant the phonograph. Wait – I meant eight-track tapes or VCR tapes or vinyl records or iPhones. Yes, the … Continue reading

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Ben Walker

I was looking over this blog and I noticed it needs more happy posts, so of course I’m going to write about Ben Walker, the happiest guy in the world. Now there’s a general rule in the media that you … Continue reading

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Cafe Improv

I never used to put “gig” news on this blog, but as a legendary folk singer once said, “The Times They Ain’t Quite What They Used To Be.” (NOTE: If you don’t get that reference, you’re probably reading the wrong … Continue reading

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I Hate Kickball

What is the capital of Arkansas? For some reason I had to learn this in fifth grade. It was part of the “good old-fashioned curriculum” certain educators felt was important. Apparently, the problem with our planet is that people don’t … Continue reading

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In The End

He was the winning quarterback in the Super Bowl. He was also a singer who recorded 50 number one hits and wrote 10 best-selling novels and was the star of Hollywood’s five highest grossing movies of all time. He won … Continue reading

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Killer Rum Cake

I was thinking about buying a boat, but they’re a lot of work. Plus, I throw up whenever I get in a boat. Actually, cruise ships are big enough that I don’t throw up – unless I drink too much … Continue reading

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i will set you free

open head. spill contents on page. where are the capital letters? they are not needed. they are filled with self-importance. they believe they are better than the lowercase letters. this is an equal opportunity paragraph. is this a paragraph? or … Continue reading

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