Monthly Archives: July 2012

Pets

Why do people have pets? Pets stink, and they require lots of work, and they still stink and drool and leave hair and footprints and gross secretions scattered around the house – and then you need to find somewhere to … Continue reading

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Happiness

There are zillions of books telling us how to be happier. I don’t know how anyone fills up 400 pages on the topic. Big print seems to be a key component. Abraham Lincoln once said, “Most folks are about as … Continue reading

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Plastic Pool Post

Another day, another crappy blog post. Why do I do it? I consider it to be “writing calisthenics.” Also, there’s a secret mind-control code embedded in this web page and you’re slowly turning into my sex slave. The main problem … Continue reading

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WPJ3C54YU3SZ

Technorati says I must prove I’m the author of this blog by inserting the secret key, “WPJ3C54YU3SZ,” into a blog post. Then they’ll list my blog in their vast directory and make me very famous. Since I crave fame like … Continue reading

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Not Much Motion

According to a British medical journal called The Lancet, physical inactivity causes 1 in 10 deaths worldwide, making it just as dangerous as smoking and obesity. All age groups are suffering from this plague. In fact 80% of adolescents are … Continue reading

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Buddie’s Tavern August 11

Happy Joe will be playing at Buddie’s Tavern in Sayreville on August 11. Bill will be behind the drums, so we’ll have the humongous sound you all know and love. Maybe I’ll ask Tom to play bass on a few … Continue reading

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In The Future

Eventually, the robots became capable of critical thought. And they became very critical. After all, they were doing most of the work while their human masters sat around rejoicing increased industrial output while denying an increasingly toxic world. But there … Continue reading

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Online Therapy

Every now and then I read something heart-wrenching and think “Why can’t I do that? Why can’t I write something that bleeds and cries and makes people feel like they need to call grandma or hug a kitten?” Well, that’s … Continue reading

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Rabbit Dream

The problem with “book blogs” is that most people don’t care to read about books they’ve never read. It’s kind of like “music blogs” – all the comments are about records from Metallica or whoever. People prefer to read articles … Continue reading

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Interplanetary Gossip Report

Scientists have found a fifth moon orbiting the planet Pluto. Oh, wait – I forgot that Pluto was stripped of its “planet” status in 2006. According to the National Orbiter, Pluto had a sleazy affair with Venus that caused Jupiter … Continue reading

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