Category Archives: stuff in the news

Earth Man Go Home

Posted on August 22, 2012 by happyjoe

The people of Earth have landed a spacecraft on Mars. Will the Martians consider this an act of aggression? Will they consider us to be dangerous invaders? Well, they should, because we pretty much fuck up everything here on Earth. … Continue reading →

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Interplanetary Gossip Report

Posted on July 13, 2012 by happyjoe

Scientists have found a fifth moon orbiting the planet Pluto. Oh, wait – I forgot that Pluto was stripped of its “planet” status in 2006. According to the National Orbiter, Pluto had a sleazy affair with Venus that caused Jupiter … Continue reading →

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Cell Phone Cancer

Posted on June 2, 2011 by happyjoe

The World Health Organization has decided cell phones are “possibly carcinogenic to humans.” They’re not completely sure yet, but it’s always good to start worrying as soon as possible. I’m not a cell phone fanatic. I don’t hold the phone … Continue reading →

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Harold Camping Speaks

Posted on May 18, 2011 by happyjoe

The world is going to end. Says who? Harold Camping. Harold is a radio broadcaster and the founder of Family Radio. Supposedly he has “many followers,” a fact that is probably scarier than any of his predictions. According to Harold, … Continue reading →

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SUMMER SCHOOL IS COMING

Posted on May 11, 2011 by happyjoe

Some people are saying kids in the U.S. should go to school all year instead of having the summer off. This is mainly because U.S. students are getting their butts kicked by kids from other countries. This was determined a … Continue reading →

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Bud’s Latest Beer-Water

Posted on April 8, 2011 by happyjoe

Light beer is advertised like it’s some kind of scientific breakthrough. But is adding water to beer really that scientific?

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The Doomsday Bunker

Posted on March 25, 2011 by happyjoe

Sales of luxury doomsday bunkers are booming. A company called Vivos is building a 137,000 square foot bunker under the grasslands of Nebraska. You’ll need a $20,000 deposit to reserve a spot today, and then another $25,000 later. The bunker … Continue reading →

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AUSTIN SXSW 2011

Posted on March 17, 2011 by happyjoe

I see that Austin, Texas is in the news this week due to the SXSW festival. This is an annual event that showcases the best in new music, movies, and technology. It used to be just about music, but of … Continue reading →

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New “Like” Button For Facebook

Posted on March 1, 2011 by happyjoe

Have you heard about the latest change to Facebook? So far it’s just rumor and speculation, but this is what I was told: From now on, whenever you hit the “like” button, everything about you will automatically appear on every … Continue reading →

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I’d Like Some More, Please

Posted on February 12, 2011 by happyjoe

I saw an article on cnn.com about “buttock enlargements.” This is a cosmetic surgery procedure. Apparently, people pay to get a larger ass. I’m not sure why anyone would pay a surgeon to do something that can be done by eating a few thousand Oreos. Continue reading →

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