King Kong Thanksgiving

When I was a kid, Thanksgiving Day involved watching King Kong on Channel 9. They used to show it every year, and I’m talking about the original version made in 1933. My dad would come into the room and say, “Oh, the original version. They don’t make’em like they used to.”

It’s true, they don’t – and that’s because no one in 2012 wants to hear Fay Wray shriek like a broken fire alarm for two hours. Really, that’s all she does in that movie. It’s an interesting study in culture change. In 1933, men were men and girls were shrieking. It was worse than a Victorian novel.

Then came the 70s, and a remake with Jessica Lange and Jeff Bridges. If you thought Fay’s character was bad, just try to suffer through 30 minutes of Jessica’s “Dwan,” some trippy dippy chick who is totally unworthy of rescue from the clutches of a giant monkey. And really, the monkey would have gotten bored with her. What would they talk about? He was thinking about bananas while she was busy reading his zodiac sign.

In 2005, the guy who did Lord of the Rings (Peter Jackson) decided to throw his entry onto the monkey pile. He used a lot of computer-generated graphics to create an extravagant version of the film that is a cool seventeen hours long. This time the girl is played by Naomi Watts. Naomi’s character had a brain, and she knew how to tap dance. In fact, she danced and talked at the same time. But the best scene in the film is when she runs ten city blocks and then climbs a skyscraper while wearing five inch pumps – and never even loses a shoe. Now THAT is talent.